Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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