have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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