Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize