ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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