I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
