Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
