sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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