i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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