omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
