Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
