you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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