Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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