He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize