your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
That's when you crack a 10am beer
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
