i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
