$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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