Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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