dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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