i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
