I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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