dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
