please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
