You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
