I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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