so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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