Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
