My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he was CRYING into my vagina
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
