I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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