My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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