you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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