I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
