I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize