I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
In other news, I just burned my penis
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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