respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sober January is a disaster.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
