he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize