I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
