Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize