I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
