..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
