the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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