Where is the hickey?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
