She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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