remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
