with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
