please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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