sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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