I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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