You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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