im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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