I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
