He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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