butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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