You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
