Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
