there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
This is my gift to your gina
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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