After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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