you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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