i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
