I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize