Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
this is an emotional support booty call
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
