lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
